Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Monday 14 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML

#20923550
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45797) - you deserved it (4122)

On 10/17/2013 at 1:06am - health - by maxkeyftw (man) - United States (California)

Today, we had a safety meeting at my warehouse job. They had an entire power point based around their message, "Stop getting hurt; it costs the company too much money." FML

#20925040
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40839) - you deserved it (4070)

On 10/18/2013 at 10:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies, and as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't see why I should know more, because I'm a girl, and "girls aren't supposed to know about super heroes." FML

#20921778
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53387) - you deserved it (3962)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I convinced my father that "Juanito", our relative who needed money for immediate surgery in Mexico was a stranger attempting to scam him. I was $1400 too late. FML

#20922898
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43481) - you deserved it (3894)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by . (woman) - United States

Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML

#20928153
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38349) - you deserved it (3866)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by the_lameo_geek (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my brother sent me an image by Skype, saying I really had to see it. I figured it was some kind of stupid joke, but I tried to look anyway. It wouldn't open. Turns out he thought he could just rename the ".exe" on a virus to ".jpg" and it would still run. My brother's a cretin. FML

#20926554
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40872) - you deserved it (3836)

On 10/19/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML

#20922962
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44980) - you deserved it (3814)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:52pm - work - by amy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spent an excruciating hour walking to campus with a broken leg, only to find my professor had left a note on the door saying class was canceled. FML

#20923929
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46230) - you deserved it (3701)

On 10/17/2013 at 12:34pm - health - by LegInPieces - United States (Washington)

Today, I met up on a blind date. He took a phone call one drink in and said he had to leave because he didn't know it was his buddy's birthday, and they were having a party without him. I offered to split the bill and put out a $20. He got up, unlocked the bicycle behind us and rode off. FML

#20927940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40313) - you deserved it (3537)

On 10/20/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by single (woman) - United States

Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML

#20926435
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43897) - you deserved it (3513)

On 10/19/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Belize (Belize)

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

#20927730
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49622) - you deserved it (3485)

On 10/20/2013 at 4:34pm - money - by oh... (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

#20922948
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41559) - you deserved it (3451)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by Awahso - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

#20928358
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44818) - you deserved it (3445)

On 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm - kids - by momaaa1342 - United States (Illinois)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: