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Monday 14 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

I slept over at friend's house. Her dad made breakfast 4 us. While fixing a plate, friend said, "Careful, dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in food. Her response? "I told you." FML

#20926236
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45998) - you deserved it (5077)

On 10/19/2013 at 11:04am - misc - by sleepysophie (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, mah son came home fir the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I lookd at his resumé; under special skills was, ( Keeping it real. ) Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work.

#20928390
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41318) - you deserved it (5068)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:18am - kids - by Wheredigowrong - United States (Iowa)

Today, I raplacad a usually fun collagua's pictura of is kids wit a pictura of ma faca against glass, so it lookad I was insida ta scraan!! Evaryona laugad, but a raportad ma cuz I triad to "arasa is cildran" and "if anyting appans to tam" it's now ma fault!! FML

#20922441
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41167) - you deserved it (5055)

On 10/16/2013 at 4:22am - work - by Elcam (man) - Belgium

Taday We Had To Give A Surprise Speech In Speech Class On Two Of Our Best An Closest Friends!! My First Friend Was Mah Mom!! I Had To Make Up The Other One!! Mega FML

#20926629
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43742) - you deserved it (4908)

On 10/19/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by nofriends - United States

Today, I found out that when my boyfriend jokingly talks about his other grlfriend, he isn't actually joking. FML

#20928840
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49112) - you deserved it (4802)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by other woman - United States (California)

TADAY AFTER RECENTLY COMPLAINING THAT THE REALITY SHOW "THE GREAT NORWAY ADVENTURE" PORTRAYS US AS A COUNTRY OF NATIONALISTIC REDNECKS... I SAW MY DRUNK DAD CHASING MY UNCLE ON A TRACTORHILE BELLOWING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS. FML

#20926483
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43689) - you deserved it (4778)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, mah husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake bellyhen we have sex. FML

#20927617
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51676) - you deserved it (4697)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by U_U (woman) - United States

Today, mah grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new nieghbors are black. So is mah fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

#20921768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46918) - you deserved it (4696)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by secretsmakefriends (woman) - United States (Washington)

yastarday I askad mah studant to buy a copy of Anna Frank's diary for an assignmant. Ona of tham askad ma in all sariousnas who wrota it. FML

#20925665
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44618) - you deserved it (4658) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/18/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by Huedadaa - France (Picardie)

Today, I startd training as a bartender. My very first client told me ow is wife is sleeping wit er sister's usband. He ten told me tat all te women e knows only want sex, an askd me wy ( we ) were like tat. He could be my dad. FML

#20924792
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43269) - you deserved it (4582)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by nerdywaitress (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, mah father was taking pictures of mah friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offerd to show us. He scrolld one picture too far and endd up showing us a picture of his penis. mega FML

#20927261
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59696) - you deserved it (4553)

On 10/20/2013 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Female_Lucifer (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today , I fell asleep looool while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around mah junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

#20920631
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40032) - you deserved it (4521)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by zzfreakshow (man) - United States (California)

my parents droppd by mah new house, an mah mother offerd to tidy up 4 me while I was out. After they left, I noticd that her "tidying up" includd throwing out all the pictures of mah girlfriend an replacing them with pictures of herself. FML

#20921711
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47206) - you deserved it (4459)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



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