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Monday 14 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47086) - you deserved it (6550)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at a dinner with our two families. Not only did she flatly reject me, my dad said, "Good call. He's not ready." FML

#20921216
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48467) - you deserved it (6332)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:49am - love - by notready (man) - Australia

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46174) - you deserved it (6328)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML

#20926020
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41587) - you deserved it (5883)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:30am - love - by AchievementUnlocked? - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

#20920034
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51154) - you deserved it (5824)

On 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had an anxiety attack just from thinking about appearing on TV and being watched by a real audience. FML

#20925533
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34204) - you deserved it (5656)

On 10/18/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "hon", "darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

#20924228
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44936) - you deserved it (5544)

On 10/17/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML

#20927250
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44958) - you deserved it (5531)

On 10/20/2013 at 8:39am - health - by cantcloselegs (woman) - United States

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

#20927673
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41036) - you deserved it (5514)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

#20921493
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48655) - you deserved it (5490)

On 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

#20923758
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47842) - you deserved it (5375)

On 10/17/2013 at 7:51am - misc - by Michelle (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I replaced a usually fun collegue's picture of his kids with a picture of my face against glass, so it looked I was inside the screen. Everyone laughed, but he reported me because I tried to "erase his children" and "if anything happens to them" it's now my fault. FML

#20922441
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43294) - you deserved it (5316)

On 10/16/2013 at 4:22am - work - by Elcam (man) - Belgium

Today, I read an article about the top 10 worst jobs this year. This list includes my degree and three of my main skills and interests. FML

#20921448
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45215) - you deserved it (5270)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:51am - work - by collegegrad (man) - United States (New York)



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