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Tuesday 17 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16437) - you deserved it (83313)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I thought that an ingenious way to protest against high tuition prices would be to steal a box of soymilk from my university dining hall. The box exploded in my backpack. Not only did I lose all my soymilk, I now have replace my $120 calculator. FML

#20886247
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14177) - you deserved it (59186)

On 09/18/2013 at 4:46am - money - by Stupid (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while having sex with my wife, my Candy Crush addiction hit me full force, and all I could do was think about possible moves I could make in the level I'm stuck on. FML

#20890032
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20837) - you deserved it (43069)

On 09/21/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by CandyCrushAddict (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

#20888878
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17348) - you deserved it (40474)

On 09/20/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by BabeRuth (man) - United States

Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML

#20883919
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36196) - you deserved it (38563)

On 09/16/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my smartphone addiction reached a new level of pathetic when I checked my weather app to see if it was cloudy outside. There was a window right behind me. FML

#20887801
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15270) - you deserved it (34690)

On 09/19/2013 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I forgot my blind date's name 3 times during our conversation. FML

#20885867
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16973) - you deserved it (34625)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:17pm - love - by lola1313 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my alcoholism reached a new low when I found myself sitting on the toilet drinking a bottle of wine. FML

#20888651
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18788) - you deserved it (31899)

On 09/20/2013 at 3:22am - health - by drunkenloser (woman) - United States

Today, thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I found myself seriously thinking about holding up an armored bank truck when I saw it in traffic. FML

#20889286
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17105) - you deserved it (30997)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a text from someone I met last night at a bar. We texted all day and planned to meet up later. The whole time I had in my mind who he was, but when we met up it was someone completely different that I didn't remember. I had to sit through the whole date pretending I knew him. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44449) - you deserved it (29537)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML

#20886867
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18257) - you deserved it (27884)

On 09/18/2013 at 6:59pm - work - by Sunny (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the girl I like sent me a nude photo of herself. Being a photographer, all I could think about was how grainy the photo was, and the various ways it could be fixed. FML

#20889340
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39846) - you deserved it (17739)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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