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Tuesday 17 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

#20893446
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35716) - you deserved it (2676)

On 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by latter - United States (Maryland)

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML

#20883990
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60013) - you deserved it (2632)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - health - by somethingblue - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35651) - you deserved it (2596)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, just like the last several days, I walked out to my car after class only to notice the Justin Beiber stickers arranged on my bumper and license plates. My dad put them there, and thinks it's just as hilarious as the first time. He has four packs of stickers left. FML

#20886085
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34962) - you deserved it (2586)

On 09/18/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by NonBelieber - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boss decided that we no longer have to clock out for cigarette breaks, but we do for toilet breaks. I'm the only non-smoker on my floor, and I'm getting penalised for it. FML

#20886555
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38498) - you deserved it (2567)

On 09/18/2013 at 1:48pm - work - by Anon - United Kingdom

Today, some asshat chewed me out over a 10 cent late fine he was charged on his library card. When I tried to explain the fine to him, he started mimicking me. Finally, as he chucked a dime at my head before storming out, I saw the glint of a Rolex watch from beneath his power suit. FML

#20894007
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39550) - you deserved it (2557)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:14am - work - by DimeShapedBruise (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

#20883979
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36812) - you deserved it (2551)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm - misc - by zachadams - United States (New York)

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

Today, I noticed that my new colleague never laughs. Instead she says, "LOL". I have to work with her every day. FML

#20884887
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37170) - you deserved it (2488)

On 09/17/2013 at 4:26am - work - by Jienaf (man) - Malta

Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML

#20888617
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39925) - you deserved it (2487)

On 09/20/2013 at 1:52am - misc - by wat - United States (California)

Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML

#20892017
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37100) - you deserved it (2442)

On 09/22/2013 at 8:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to find some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is for is going to be disappointed when they get my 3DS game. FML

#20894309
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36239) - you deserved it (2430)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

#20885115
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39060) - you deserved it (2364)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)



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