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Tuesday 17 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss made me play golf with some executives of a company we're hoping to secure a business deal with, despite me having no golf training. My first swing ended up with me being rushed to the hospital. FML

#20891836
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36884) - you deserved it (4407)

On 09/22/2013 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

#20891477
168 comments

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

#20894598
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34150) - you deserved it (4303)

On 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm - kids - by mandm - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my roommate Skypes my friends on my laptop when I'm away. Not only that, he covers his face and shows them his junk. My friends no longer answer Skype calls from me. FML

#20886799
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38671) - you deserved it (4295)

On 09/18/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

#20894470
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47734) - you deserved it (4282)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Undercooked (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44103) - you deserved it (4151)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

#20889160
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49148) - you deserved it (4060)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML

#20891806
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37661) - you deserved it (4048)

On 09/22/2013 at 5:21pm - kids - by soannoyed - United States

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

#20883448
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43515) - you deserved it (3982)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:51am - kids - by clean - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML

#20892223
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48096) - you deserved it (3978)

On 09/22/2013 at 10:24pm - love - by really? (man) - United States

Today, I hit a new low in my financial troubles when I left my work to retrieve twenty-five cents after seeing someone drop it across the street. FML

#20891026
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37975) - you deserved it (3977)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:45am - money - by collegebroke (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

Today, my English teacher handed back my creative story assignment with a 74% on it. Apparently, she docked 10% because I had an unrealistic, overly dramatic plot line. That plot line was based on my life. FML

#20887417
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43296) - you deserved it (3780)

On 09/19/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Sua - Canada (Alberta)



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