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Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48802) - you deserved it (3384)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40134) - you deserved it (3334)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43858) - you deserved it (3298)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

#20887394
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35618) - you deserved it (3235)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:35am - work - by some people... - United States

Today, my mother informed me that we are no longer taking my graduation trip to New York. Instead, she and her group of continuously drunk friends are going to Vegas because, "We could win the jackpot and take you on an even bigger trip to New York!" She's never won anything in her whole life. FML

#20875663
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49783) - you deserved it (3233)

On 09/10/2013 at 11:52am - money - by zcollins - United States (California)

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

#20883979
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41248) - you deserved it (3219)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm - misc - by zachadams - United States (New York)

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

#20889651
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47892) - you deserved it (3212)

On 09/21/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML

#20876742
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36718) - you deserved it (3175)

On 09/11/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML

Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML

#20880890
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39419) - you deserved it (3113)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by crushed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#20887080
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48463) - you deserved it (3048)

On 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm - love - by ElizaZee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML

#20888617
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44015) - you deserved it (3001)

On 09/20/2013 at 1:52am - misc - by wat - United States (California)



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