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Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

Today, while sorting through my clothes, I found one of my ex's old sweaters. After a lot of thought and difficulty, I threw it out. I felt empowered, until my father later rifled through my trash and claimed the sweater for himself. FML

#20890169
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35401) - you deserved it (2902)

On 09/21/2013 at 1:28pm - love - by gemtas5 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML

#20880018
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38610) - you deserved it (2888)

On 09/13/2013 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonynommer (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML

#20876765
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49431) - you deserved it (2854)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:30am - love - by AnonymousLoser (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#20887080
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45837) - you deserved it (2823)

On 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm - love - by ElizaZee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML

#20875436
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42505) - you deserved it (2774)

On 09/10/2013 at 3:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

#20889651
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44195) - you deserved it (2750)

On 09/21/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

#20887758
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36581) - you deserved it (2736)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML

#20875969
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52853) - you deserved it (2735)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm - health - by Iskylite (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the Internet wasn't working. One girl decided to try to diagnose the problem. It said to connect the Ethernet cable. She started making fun of the computer for spelling "Internet" wrong. I'm graduating with this idiot in less than a month. FML

#20886445
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40159) - you deserved it (2691)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML

#20878038
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37455) - you deserved it (2678)

On 09/12/2013 at 3:42am - work - by hawkwardd - Australia

Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML

#20880890
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36245) - you deserved it (2663)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by crushed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML

#20876742
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33315) - you deserved it (2645)

On 09/11/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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