Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML

#20875969
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58420) - you deserved it (3405)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm - health - by Iskylite (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45073) - you deserved it (3397)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48855) - you deserved it (3387)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

#20889651
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49282) - you deserved it (3329)

On 09/21/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML

#20880890
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41792) - you deserved it (3317)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by crushed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

#20887394
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36416) - you deserved it (3313)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:35am - work - by some people... - United States

Today, my mother informed me that we are no longer taking my graduation trip to New York. Instead, she and her group of continuously drunk friends are going to Vegas because, "We could win the jackpot and take you on an even bigger trip to New York!" She's never won anything in her whole life. FML

#20875663
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49818) - you deserved it (3234)

On 09/10/2013 at 11:52am - money - by zcollins - United States (California)

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

#20883979
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41294) - you deserved it (3226)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm - misc - by zachadams - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML

#20876742
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36756) - you deserved it (3177)

On 09/11/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my roommate unexpectedly came home with a new puppy. I'm severely allergic to dogs. When I reminded her of this, she explained that the puppy was her family now and if I didn't like it I should move out because blood is thicker than water. My roommate is my sister. FML

#20875920
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49245) - you deserved it (3173)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:02pm - animals - by RoommateWanted (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

#20887758
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40305) - you deserved it (3064)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: