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Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

#20885188
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43493) - you deserved it (3593)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML

#20887990
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42451) - you deserved it (3581)

On 09/19/2013 at 5:18pm - kids - by Smoothskin (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

#20889155
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48170) - you deserved it (3570)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

Today, my two closest friends declared that they hated each other. They're my bridesmaids. The wedding is in three weeks. FML

#20878136
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43955) - you deserved it (3553)

On 09/12/2013 at 8:39am - misc - by SadFace (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a street preacher got on my metro car and gave a long, loud speech about how we sinful, polluted congressional staffers must inform our bosses that choosing a homosexual lifestyle was like trading your soul for soup. We got stuck in a tunnel for thirty minutes. FML

#20887597
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36352) - you deserved it (3495)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by CapitolSouthSux (woman) - United States

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

#20885218
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44556) - you deserved it (3492)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:52pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

Today, while sorting through my clothes, I found one of my ex's old sweaters. After a lot of thought and difficulty, I threw it out. I felt empowered, until my father later rifled through my trash and claimed the sweater for himself. FML

#20890169
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38670) - you deserved it (3490)

On 09/21/2013 at 1:28pm - love - by gemtas5 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML

#20878614
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56139) - you deserved it (3460)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML

#20875436
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47351) - you deserved it (3453)

On 09/10/2013 at 3:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML

#20876765
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54087) - you deserved it (3438)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:30am - love - by AnonymousLoser (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML

#20875969
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58264) - you deserved it (3398)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm - health - by Iskylite (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML



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