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Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

Today, my English teacher handed back my creative story assignment with a 74% on it. Apparently, she docked 10% because I had an unrealistic, overly dramatic plot line. That plot line was based on my life. FML

#20887417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40133) - you deserved it (3272)

On 09/19/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Sua - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38280) - you deserved it (3162)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my two closest friends declared that they hated each other. They're my bridesmaids. The wedding is in three weeks. FML

#20878136
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40146) - you deserved it (3108)

On 09/12/2013 at 8:39am - misc - by SadFace (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML

#20887990
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37830) - you deserved it (3087)

On 09/19/2013 at 5:18pm - kids - by Smoothskin (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a street preacher got on my metro car and gave a long, loud speech about how we sinful, polluted congressional staffers must inform our bosses that choosing a homosexual lifestyle was like trading your soul for soup. We got stuck in a tunnel for thirty minutes. FML

#20887597
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33860) - you deserved it (3055)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by CapitolSouthSux (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

#20889155
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44754) - you deserved it (3038)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40877) - you deserved it (3013)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was struggling to move a large bookshelf downstairs. Mid-way down, the weight became too much for me and I desperately yelled to my dad for help. He stood at the top of the stairs and said, "Cash or broken bones. How much's it worth, son?" I'm now £50 poorer. FML

#20889249
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34786) - you deserved it (3010)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:20pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

#20887394
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32801) - you deserved it (2950)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:35am - work - by some people... - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML



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