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Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML

#20874079
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68703) - you deserved it (3787)

On 09/09/2013 at 3:19am - love - by heartbroken - United States (California)

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

#20883448
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40991) - you deserved it (3743)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:51am - kids - by clean - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

#20889160
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45469) - you deserved it (3655)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at the zoo, I found out that the rhinos there can pee backwards, while standing directly behind one. FML

#20874616
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36179) - you deserved it (3502)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:51pm - animals - by Are you kidding me? - United States (Kansas)

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

#20890231
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36432) - you deserved it (3496)

On 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML

#20878650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40963) - you deserved it (3493)

On 09/12/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by WTF - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

#20885188
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41752) - you deserved it (3408)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, in French class we had to write love letters as an exercise. Since my boyfriend recently broke up with me by text message, I ended up writing a 20-sentence love letter in French to my cat. FML

#20878541
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39511) - you deserved it (3400)

On 09/12/2013 at 5:24pm - love - by Frenchie - United States (Illinois)

Today, my partner walked in the room wearing a sweater from my wardrobe, making jokes about it and saying how ugly it was. That sweater was the last thing my father wore before he passed away. FML

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

#20885218
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42950) - you deserved it (3339)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:52pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my sister, who knows I'm severely afraid of heights, got me tickets to sky dive for my birthday. When I reminded her of my fear, she stated that she forgot and should just keep them for herself and her boyfriend. My mom agreed. FML

#20875635
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41904) - you deserved it (3331)

On 09/10/2013 at 10:56am - money - by PartTimePrincess (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML

#20878614
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54015) - you deserved it (3295)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45665) - you deserved it (3292)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States



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