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Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

#20875790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42102) - you deserved it (6173)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML

#20881721
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35995) - you deserved it (6117)

On 09/15/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

#20875531
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39841) - you deserved it (5833)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:36am - animals - by Evil_Angel_90 (woman) - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I f*ck on first dates". FML

#20888198
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50623) - you deserved it (5746)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by ughreally (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

#20883504
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43896) - you deserved it (5574)

On 09/16/2013 at 7:09am - love - by Kit (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I was at Walmart with my stepmom. We were about to check out when a little sweet-looking old woman came up and asked if she could get in front of us. Seeing as she only had two items in her hands we said yes. Her husband then came up with two carts full of stuff, condoms on top. FML

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

#20879909
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45263) - you deserved it (5447)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

#20874059
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42895) - you deserved it (5441)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:42am - misc - by jessel_ladd92 (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

#20888905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53361) - you deserved it (5396)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by disappointed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

#20874035
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49451) - you deserved it (5371)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:15am - intimacy - by merpaderp14 (woman) - Canada

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

#20874413
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44033) - you deserved it (5336)

On 09/09/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

#20881087
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46272) - you deserved it (5233)

On 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, my enjoyment of popping bubble wrap was yet again ruined by my excessive OCD tendencies. FML

#20887677
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34299) - you deserved it (5178)

On 09/19/2013 at 11:18am - health - by BarryShitpeas - United Kingdom (Kent)



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