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Saturday 14 September 2013

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Today, I got fired from my volunteer job. FML

by Volunteer / 09/13/2013 at 6:24pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I had to show my daughter where the USA is on a map. She's 17, and we live in the USA. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 6:45pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I bumped into a really cute guy I know. I stuttered and floundered, before saying, "Hi, it's me, Megan Thomas." My surname isn't Thomas, but his is. FML

by hoolagirl4422 / 09/20/2013 at 7:23am / Hong Kong / Love

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

by meganmagee / 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, one of my online friends told me he's bought a plane ticket, so he can come visit me. I've told him multiple times before that I'm uncomfortable with this idea, but he keeps telling me to stop joking, and reminding me that he'll have no other place to stay. FML

by LolAtMyPosts / 09/15/2013 at 2:04pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking down the street when a "homeless" man asked for money. I gave him a dollar and he got up and called his friend on an iPhone. FML

by Kaka_Karrot_Kake / 09/13/2013 at 9:49am / United States (Texas) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

by sammieshortcake / 09/14/2013 at 11:30am / United States / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

by Jake / 09/16/2013 at 3:08pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I spent all of last night preparing, researching the company, and making sure everything was perfect. My interview was for 8am. I woke up at 10:30 to an alarm that had not gone off. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2013 at 1:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three years before we even met. FML

by Crazy Crazy Crazy / 09/12/2013 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

by natattack / 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I asked a friend to hang out. I'm so used to people saying no, that when she said yes I burst into tears and had a panic attack. FML

by Stripes_And_Dots / 09/14/2013 at 2:26am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.