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Wednesday 4 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41248) - you deserved it (3062)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my roommate unexpectedly came home with a new puppy. I'm severely allergic to dogs. When I reminded her of this, she explained that the puppy was her family now and if I didn't like it I should move out because blood is thicker than water. My roommate is my sister. FML

#20875920
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46532) - you deserved it (2947)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:02pm - animals - by RoommateWanted (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML

#20870923
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42645) - you deserved it (2904)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by areyoukiddingme - United States

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

#20876113
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46538) - you deserved it (2896)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:30pm - work - by the next james herriot (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML

#20867651
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36519) - you deserved it (2861)

On 09/04/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by swana99 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

#20868590
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50936) - you deserved it (2786)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:02am - animals - by GotMyBitchBack - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my insurance company to deal with some paperwork. One of their employees backed into my car before I made it into the building. FML

#20874631
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42723) - you deserved it (2770)

On 09/09/2013 at 5:04pm - money - by Sean - United States

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

#20866213
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46330) - you deserved it (2747)

On 09/03/2013 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML

#20869864
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45571) - you deserved it (2736)

On 09/06/2013 at 2:42am - love - by thissinglelife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

#20869975
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40673) - you deserved it (2678)

On 09/06/2013 at 7:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50751) - you deserved it (2640)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my new creative writing teacher informed the class that we should consult him before writing anything "dark or disturbing." I only took the class because my therapist recommended that I join the class so I could freely express my darker thoughts without her help or a fear of being judged. FML

#20866346
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35362) - you deserved it (2632)

On 09/03/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by depressed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML

#20877588
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47718) - you deserved it (2632)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:12pm - work - by icanteven - United States (Kentucky)



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