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Wednesday 4 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

#20866691
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37961) - you deserved it (6805)

On 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm - misc - by JustAnotherFML23 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was asked to dumb myself down so the people I was training could comprehend what I was saying. FML

#20868484
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39166) - you deserved it (6753)

On 09/05/2013 at 2:57am - work - by Retarded (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on my lap so I could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on my leg. FML

#20874571
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57822) - you deserved it (6640)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:16pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML

#20864381
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64848) - you deserved it (6606)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by yourfault (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

#20863945
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43838) - you deserved it (6602)

On 09/02/2013 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

#20875790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45129) - you deserved it (6553)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "condoms are too expensive." FML

#20864490
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54435) - you deserved it (6183)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

#20875531
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41527) - you deserved it (6031)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:36am - animals - by Evil_Angel_90 (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

#20874035
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53337) - you deserved it (5778)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:15am - intimacy - by merpaderp14 (woman) - Canada

Today, I was telling my brother about how my new colleagues and I don't share a sense of humour. He replied, "What, you mean they don't pretend to laugh at your jokes like everybody else?" FML

#20864858
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36366) - you deserved it (5775)

On 09/02/2013 at 5:40pm - work - by laughing-stock - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

#20874413
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47258) - you deserved it (5689)

On 09/09/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

#20874059
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44944) - you deserved it (5664)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:42am - misc - by jessel_ladd92 (man) - United States



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