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Wednesday 4 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML

#20872459
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44329) - you deserved it (6494)

On 09/08/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

#20875790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43947) - you deserved it (6411)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML

#20864381
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60151) - you deserved it (6402)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by yourfault (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

#20866691
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34946) - you deserved it (6309)

On 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm - misc - by JustAnotherFML23 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on my lap so I could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on my leg. FML

#20874571
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53894) - you deserved it (6235)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:16pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

#20863945
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40632) - you deserved it (6151)

On 09/02/2013 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "condoms are too expensive." FML

#20864490
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52610) - you deserved it (5988)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

#20875531
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40435) - you deserved it (5903)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:36am - animals - by Evil_Angel_90 (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, I was telling my brother about how my new colleagues and I don't share a sense of humour. He replied, "What, you mean they don't pretend to laugh at your jokes like everybody else?" FML

#20864858
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35235) - you deserved it (5641)

On 09/02/2013 at 5:40pm - work - by laughing-stock - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I found out my kids only remember my birthday because it's the password on the iPad. FML

#20871062
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43897) - you deserved it (5483)

On 09/07/2013 at 4:22am - kids - by Sean - United States (California)

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

#20874059
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42977) - you deserved it (5446)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:42am - misc - by jessel_ladd92 (man) - United States

Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML

#20868968
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37716) - you deserved it (5383)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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