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Wednesday 28 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60645) - you deserved it (4819)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took my driver's test. The woman administering it wouldn't even look at me, so trying to be friendly I said the first thing I could think of: "It must be scary getting in the car with someone you don't know!" She failed me for "excessive chatting." FML

#20867699
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43190) - you deserved it (4799)

On 09/04/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by UGGGH that was my 2nd attempt too (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

#20865686
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63804) - you deserved it (4585)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:30am - intimacy - by poolgirl789 (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

#20855295
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61065) - you deserved it (4466)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML

#20858870
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39741) - you deserved it (4377)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:39am - misc - by oD_Ronan (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

#20856004
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39346) - you deserved it (4366)

On 08/27/2013 at 12:36am - kids - by Parenting... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was told that the $500 I'm owed for babysitting isn't going to happen. Why? Because after six months of watching a friend's six children, she's moved 120 miles away and no longer needs me. FML

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

#20859064
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48814) - you deserved it (4259)

On 08/29/2013 at 9:40am - misc - by tallguy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting married. Her boyfriend is my husband. We're not even legally divorced yet. FML

#20857902
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69691) - you deserved it (4209)

On 08/28/2013 at 1:47pm - love - by still together (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, tired of everyone forgetting my birthday, I traveled half way around the world to spend my 40th at a five star resort just to try and make it special. The hotel brought me a cake with someone else's name on it. FML

#20861368
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50209) - you deserved it (4106)

On 08/31/2013 at 4:16am - misc - by nevercatchabreak - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45429) - you deserved it (4050)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML

#20861465
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45507) - you deserved it (3967)

On 08/31/2013 at 8:14am - health - by faulty plumbimg! (woman) - India



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