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Wednesday 28 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my first date in years cancelled on me because she has to "wash the horse's hair." The date was arranged for 9:30pm. FML

#20857695
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38398) - you deserved it (3128)

On 08/28/2013 at 9:25am - misc - by AtLeastHaveADecientExcuse -

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45870) - you deserved it (3125)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

#20858175
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42141) - you deserved it (3102)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by notsolucky - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37116) - you deserved it (3037)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46028) - you deserved it (2996)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

#20863339
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37433) - you deserved it (2929)

On 09/01/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

#20861348
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46592) - you deserved it (2927)

On 08/31/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Redbridge)

Today, I was fired when a customer called corporate, saying I was unprofessional and rude. The "customer" in question was my little sister, who I would not let buy beer with a fake ID. FML

Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

#20858152
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38957) - you deserved it (2752)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

#20866213
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46284) - you deserved it (2744)

On 09/03/2013 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was yelled at once again for being in the school gym without a coach present. I am the coach. FML

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

#20859797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40156) - you deserved it (2712)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:11am - work - by Parental Support - United States (Maryland)



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