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Wednesday 21 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51764) - you deserved it (5168)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML

#20853995
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47786) - you deserved it (5084)

On 08/25/2013 at 5:36pm - work - by jeed(1) (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML

#20856558
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56084) - you deserved it (5023)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, during one of my first days as a teacher, a student stole my phone. FML

#20855620
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43251) - you deserved it (4828)

On 08/26/2013 at 8:22pm - work - by gunnerdog (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60646) - you deserved it (4819)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48355) - you deserved it (4806)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the painting he had been working on. It was a heart with wings, my name, and the date we started dating. We have been dating for almost a year and a half. He misspelled my name. FML

#20854112
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43637) - you deserved it (4783)

On 08/25/2013 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

#20848570
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51966) - you deserved it (4573)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm - work - by baconbxtch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML

#20844435
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81150) - you deserved it (4569)

On 08/19/2013 at 9:06am - love - by Love stinks (man) - United States

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

#20852599
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43984) - you deserved it (4542)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:05pm - kids - by thanks mom ¬_¬ (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping to me while pointing at his dick. FML

#20850372
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44443) - you deserved it (4507)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:23am - misc - by NotInterested (woman) - United States

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

#20855295
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61065) - you deserved it (4466)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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