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Wednesday 21 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML

#20853995
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46278) - you deserved it (4935)

On 08/25/2013 at 5:36pm - work - by jeed(1) (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my neighbor's daughter started learning how to play the trombone. FML

#20857611
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41744) - you deserved it (4918)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:33am - kids - by Alice (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML

#20856558
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54483) - you deserved it (4892)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, during one of my first days as a teacher, a student stole my phone. FML

#20855620
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40802) - you deserved it (4595)

On 08/26/2013 at 8:22pm - work - by gunnerdog (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the painting he had been working on. It was a heart with wings, my name, and the date we started dating. We have been dating for almost a year and a half. He misspelled my name. FML

#20854112
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41583) - you deserved it (4580)

On 08/25/2013 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45605) - you deserved it (4530)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56195) - you deserved it (4441)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

#20848570
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48831) - you deserved it (4320)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm - work - by baconbxtch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

#20852599
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41278) - you deserved it (4263)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:05pm - kids - by thanks mom ¬_¬ (man) - United States (California)

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML

#20844435
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76147) - you deserved it (4237)

On 08/19/2013 at 9:06am - love - by Love stinks (man) - United States

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping to me while pointing at his dick. FML

#20850372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41311) - you deserved it (4230)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:23am - misc - by NotInterested (woman) - United States

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

#20856004
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38044) - you deserved it (4230)

On 08/27/2013 at 12:36am - kids - by Parenting... (woman) - United States (Texas)



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