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Wednesday 21 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a kid in class dropped his paper on the floor. I held on to my desk with one hand and reached for the paper with my other hand. I lost balance and tilted both my chair and desk over, nailing the floor as everything on my desk hit the ground with me. He picked the paper up himself. FML

#20845667
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32372) - you deserved it (4452)

On 08/20/2013 at 12:01am - misc - by nice guys finish last - United States (Tennessee)

Today, during one of my first days as a teacher, a student stole my phone. FML

#20855620
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39051) - you deserved it (4425)

On 08/26/2013 at 8:22pm - work - by gunnerdog (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45220) - you deserved it (4410)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the painting he had been working on. It was a heart with wings, my name, and the date we started dating. We have been dating for almost a year and a half. He misspelled my name. FML

#20854112
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38567) - you deserved it (4255)

On 08/25/2013 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42928) - you deserved it (4249)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML

#20856558
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48590) - you deserved it (4218)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML

#20844435
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73584) - you deserved it (4054)

On 08/19/2013 at 9:06am - love - by Love stinks (man) - United States

Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping to me while pointing at his dick. FML

#20850372
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38524) - you deserved it (3904)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:23am - misc - by NotInterested (woman) - United States

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML

#20845941
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39601) - you deserved it (3806)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

#20856004
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33958) - you deserved it (3794)

On 08/27/2013 at 12:36am - kids - by Parenting... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

#20848570
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44777) - you deserved it (3750)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm - work - by baconbxtch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51499) - you deserved it (3710)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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