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Tuesday 16 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

#20784153
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46117) - you deserved it (2815)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by leeceetaylor99 - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my bosses said, "You're going to take this as an insult, but it's not. At a certain age, women are supposed to cut their hair short." I have long hair. My bosses have all of the social skills of the guys from Big Bang Theory. FML

#20798680
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33879) - you deserved it (2737)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:23am - work - by Irreverend (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

Today, I had an allergy test. Not only was I allergic to 35 out of the 40 items, they also found out that I'm allergic to the latex gloves my doctor happened to be wearing. Now my entire back is covered in a rash that will last at least another week. FML

#20783362
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45154) - you deserved it (2667)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I announced my first pregnancy to my family. Not to be outdone, my sister immediately announced that she "might" be getting pregnant soon. My family ended up congratulating her instead, and asked me if I would plan the baby shower. FML

#20793609
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51701) - you deserved it (2634)

On 07/20/2013 at 2:31am - kids - by Happyunlucky (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

#20791582
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46144) - you deserved it (2605)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:29am - misc - by the unfortunate man - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad's conspiracy theory obsession hit a new level of stupidity when he blurted "false flag" because our toaster stopped working. FML

#20797881
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29777) - you deserved it (2561)

On 07/22/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by facepalm (man) - United States

Today, I was finally asked out on a date after a year of being single. Turns out he got the wrong number. FML

#20799037
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40693) - you deserved it (2555)

On 07/23/2013 at 5:51am - love - by foreveralone (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

Today, I've been bedridden for the past two weeks. My boyfriend casually remarked that he understands now why some people cheat on their seriously-ill partners. Thanks for adding to the stress, sweetie. FML

#20797672
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40925) - you deserved it (2442)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML

#20790299
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40355) - you deserved it (2400)

On 07/18/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by dirtythief (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, I suddenly started having excruciating pain. My husband took me to the ER, where I waited for three hours in agony to be seen. By the time a doctor got to me, the pain had mostly gone, but it was found to be a kidney stone. I was told, "Next time, don't wait so long." Really? FML



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