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Saturday 13 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48740) - you deserved it (4019)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

#20786569
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47845) - you deserved it (3982)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm - love - by .__. (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to turn down an invitation to one of my best friend's birthday party because I had been scheduled to work. Little did I know that my job on that day would be setting up the tents, tables, and chairs for that very birthday party. FML

#20783466
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46439) - you deserved it (3928)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Sam - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my girlfriend about my extreme fear of flying roaches. She immediately got upset because she thought, since I'm from the Caribbean, I would be "manlier" and "eat stuff like that for breakfast". FML

#20783934
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39409) - you deserved it (3918)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:41am - misc - by sammy77sam (man) - Saint Kitts and Nevis (Saint George Basseterre)

Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML

#20773825
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56103) - you deserved it (3894)

On 07/10/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by mike - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she felt that her puppy was lonely while we dated. FML

#20771661
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44864) - you deserved it (3874)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51894) - you deserved it (3873)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a music festival, and my mum had told me not to to drink. Someone threw a cup of beer at me, and I was worried about smelling of alcohol. It's okay though, because a second cup of urine took the alcohol smell right away. FML

#20779336
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46726) - you deserved it (3853)

On 07/13/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Festivaler - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, my girlfriend decided to let me know that she almost left me for another guy not so long ago, because he was more handsome and talented than me. The reason she didn't leave: "He's out of my league; you're not." FML

#20777616
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46984) - you deserved it (3812)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I made two cakes. One for my boyfriend's birthday tomorrow, the other for my family so they wouldn't eat the birthday cake. I came home to find they ate half of each. FML

Today, I woke up with a half-shaved head, thanks to the friends I let crash at my place last night. I have work in an hour and a half, and they hid my hair clippers. FML

#20793566
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33180) - you deserved it (3758)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:47am - work - by Eisenhorn (man) - United States

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML

#20772026
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49144) - you deserved it (3755)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:05am - love - by thirdwheel - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

#20776976
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41926) - you deserved it (3747)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)



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