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Saturday 13 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, mah boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping,hen for the frst time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's looool now in hospital.

#20770545
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30257) - you deserved it (66726)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of mah friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. real FML

#20782525
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24482) - you deserved it (62547)

On 07/14/2013 at 5:25pm - misc - by scheisse (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today , I was browsing porn in my room,hen my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab , only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open , so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said , "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help , son." real FML

#20779957
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28039) - you deserved it (54978)

On 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today , my grlfriend said she wantd to get a little crazy and try some role-play. ( Act like u don't want it , ) she said. Without thinking , I replid , ( Well , that should be easy. ) FML

#20790896
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30197) - you deserved it (50940)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by FootinMouth (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held mah cat above mah head Lion King style !! The hieght must have made him nervous, because he shat on mah head !! FML

#20788265
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28421) - you deserved it (50584)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I receivd a text from my dad , which was borderline-incomprehensible due to an insane amount of text language. I replid , jokingly askd if he had a stroke while writing it. A few second after hitting send , I rememberd the stroke he sufferd last month. FML

#20777593
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20610) - you deserved it (50042)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by hellbound (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating a corndog, when boyfriend jokingly told me to ( take it deeper ) . I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table . big fat FML

#20775966
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26070) - you deserved it (49295)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my aunt had tha wondarful axparianca of haaring my boyfriand and I hava a vary "satisfying" ancountar aftar wa stupidly forgot to turn off tha baby monitor!! FML

#20772295
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31473) - you deserved it (46771)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by embarrassed niece (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, After A Arcut, I Walkd To Te Cas Register, Andd Te Ardresser A $20 Bill And Said, "Keep Te Cange." He Lookd At Me Wit A Blank Expression And Replid, "Te Arcut Costs 25 Dollars." Mega FML

#20773985
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30417) - you deserved it (46698)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:38am - misc - by RickTheBoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

today while leaving McDonald's I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watchd in the rear-view mirror as it landd in the opposite lane an about 60 wingd rats descendd upon the street causing a truck to veer off the road an crash. FML

#20773275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27464) - you deserved it (46021)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today... I knockd over a display case at a mall... shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassd... I trid to scurry out of the nereest door without being seen. I scuttld right into the janitor's closet... the door automatically locking behind me. I waitd fir an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22296) - you deserved it (43656)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today... I woka up aftar passing out at a vary small housa party. I sat a thraa drink limit... but apparantly nobody listand... bacausa thara wara baar cans avarywhara... half stuff was on tha floor... an somaona had shat in bathtub. I had to claan all of it up alona. FML

#20790528
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20567) - you deserved it (43308)

On 07/18/2013 at 2:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while walking into a hotel room, I passed by a full-sized mirror. My reflection scared me so badly that I punched the mirror, which then shattered an resulted in several cuts to mah hand. FML

#20788837
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21787) - you deserved it (38073)

On 07/17/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by igotsbadluck - United States (Tennessee)



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