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Monday 8 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML

#20780355
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51596) - you deserved it (4131)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:10pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend decided to let me know that she almost left me for another guy not so long ago, because he was more handsome and talented than me. The reason she didn't leave: "He's out of my league; you're not." FML

#20777616
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49802) - you deserved it (4057)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to turn down an invitation to one of my best friend's birthday party because I had been scheduled to work. Little did I know that my job on that day would be setting up the tents, tables, and chairs for that very birthday party. FML

#20783466
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47757) - you deserved it (4031)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Sam - United States (Illinois)

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

#20781189
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51071) - you deserved it (4019)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made two cakes. One for my boyfriend's birthday tomorrow, the other for my family so they wouldn't eat the birthday cake. I came home to find they ate half of each. FML

Today, I was at a music festival, and my mum had told me not to to drink. Someone threw a cup of beer at me, and I was worried about smelling of alcohol. It's okay though, because a second cup of urine took the alcohol smell right away. FML

#20779336
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48213) - you deserved it (3997)

On 07/13/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Festivaler - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

#20776976
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44194) - you deserved it (3933)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my college English teacher told me if I wanted an explanation for my grade I would have to schedule a conference to come to her office. It's an online class. I took an online class because I can't come in. FML

#20774966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39628) - you deserved it (3903)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:15pm - work - by myl1f3isfuct (woman) - United States

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML

#20779978
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66941) - you deserved it (3902)

On 07/13/2013 at 1:33pm - love - by fuckingtrollingskankwhoreshitwankcuntfuck (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76423) - you deserved it (3866)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61176) - you deserved it (3810)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

#20776380
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60742) - you deserved it (3781)

On 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by yayme. - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

#20784658
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42714) - you deserved it (3707)

On 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by lame-o-prof (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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