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Monday 8 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

#20770510
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50302) - you deserved it (5052)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by realitybites (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my boyfriend regularly has his ex stay over. They even share a bed. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML

#20774058
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54909) - you deserved it (4988)

On 07/10/2013 at 10:18am - love - by Paige (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, after spending weeks working on a song that meant a lot to me, I reluctantly posted it online. The "friend" who'd convinced me to post it, commented, "This is the worst shit I've ever heard." He got 30 likes, along with a barrage of agreeing, equally terrible comments. FML

#20772988
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41761) - you deserved it (4960)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:35pm - misc - by tonedef (man) - United States

Today, I realized my online dating profile has gotten more views with no picture than it has with my picture. FML

#20772363
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42876) - you deserved it (4836)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

#20777932
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38716) - you deserved it (4755)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by O_O (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

#20779631
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60191) - you deserved it (4717)

On 07/13/2013 at 9:20am - love - by a man - United States (Texas)

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

#20778979
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61968) - you deserved it (4611)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

#20775203
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46125) - you deserved it (4542)

On 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

#20770695
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42109) - you deserved it (4416)

On 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by pinkXpress1023 - United Kingdom

Today, it's been the tenth restaurant meal in a row that my husband has to ruin with Instagram, in the belief that anyone cares. FML

#20771120
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33777) - you deserved it (4313)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:45pm - misc - by STOPTAKINGPICTURES (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to make a R.I.P. page for me on Facebook. Most liked post? "Too bad this page is fake." FML

#20771326
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40453) - you deserved it (4300)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:02pm - misc - by the hated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

#20782878
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33274) - you deserved it (4278)

On 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML

#20784969
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48232) - you deserved it (4229)

On 07/15/2013 at 8:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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