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Saturday 6 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

#20770695
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43599) - you deserved it (4578)

On 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by pinkXpress1023 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML

#20772026
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55536) - you deserved it (4574)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:05am - love - by thirdwheel - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML

#20762850
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48119) - you deserved it (4525)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by brokeandhungry - United States

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70139) - you deserved it (4521)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was asked to help my sister clean her room. The moment I opened the door, I was greeted by her screaming "TASTE THE RAINBOW" with a full mouth. She then spat the skittles into my face. FML

#20768354
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43855) - you deserved it (4493)

On 07/07/2013 at 6:55am - kids - by tastetherainbow - United States (Texas)

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

#20766295
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52335) - you deserved it (4473)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:17am - love - by walker - United States

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

#20759842
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46057) - you deserved it (4464)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:39pm - health - by good big sister? (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of over a year has been cheating on me the whole time, but that "it's just physical". However, he doesn't want to do anything "physical" with me, except cuddle when we're together. FML

#20774465
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48363) - you deserved it (4436)

On 07/10/2013 at 3:08pm - love - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia

Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML

#20769987
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49140) - you deserved it (4405)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:57am - work - by FUCK.THIS.JOB. (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

#20770214
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45831) - you deserved it (4370)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52833) - you deserved it (4354)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

#20759724
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42975) - you deserved it (4351)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by dry spell (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

#20777221
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55829) - you deserved it (4348)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by ouch (man) - United States



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