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Saturday 6 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

#20770510
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56850) - you deserved it (6795)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by realitybites (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML

#20772121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47120) - you deserved it (6540)

On 07/09/2013 at 9:35am - kids - by thecathater (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML

#20770807
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43007) - you deserved it (6477)

On 07/08/2013 at 4:00pm - animals - by richardmrcs (man) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

#20766730
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48764) - you deserved it (6445)

On 07/06/2013 at 7:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter asked me to get her razors. When my 19-year-old son saw them he asked what they were for, to which my daughter replied, "For my armpits." My son then said, "Girls don't grow armpit hair." FML

#20764467
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45277) - you deserved it (6359)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:59am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I felt lousy and decided to give myself a pep-talk in the mirror. After a while, I cheered up and went about my day. I soon found out that my sister had recorded me through the crack of my door and posted the video on Facebook. I'm humiliated. FML

#20777975
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53686) - you deserved it (6269)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:40pm - misc - by Suomynona (man) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, after I got turned down for yet another job, my dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is always a stable market. FML

#20776199
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58928) - you deserved it (6248)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by fucked up dad (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

#20777956
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47223) - you deserved it (6140)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

#20758014
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55499) - you deserved it (5976)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

#20762781
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67677) - you deserved it (5855)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43036) - you deserved it (5785)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML

#20768896
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55004) - you deserved it (5738)

On 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by roseland (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally realized that when my seemingly very judgmental fiancé makes negative comments about other women, it's actually just an excuse to keep ogling them. FML

#20761657
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40801) - you deserved it (5648)

On 07/03/2013 at 1:35pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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