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Thursday 4 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

#20763905
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49175) - you deserved it (4242)

On 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm - health - by Your ass... Grab it... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my college English teacher told me if I wanted an explanation for my grade I would have to schedule a conference to come to her office. It's an online class. I took an online class because I can't come in. FML

#20774966
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42745) - you deserved it (4179)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:15pm - work - by myl1f3isfuct (woman) - United States

Today, I made two cakes. One for my boyfriend's birthday tomorrow, the other for my family so they wouldn't eat the birthday cake. I came home to find they ate half of each. FML

Today, I was drinking from a cup with a built-in straw. After taking a long sip, I noticed a weird taste. Upon investigation, I found a small caterpillar wedged inside the straw. FML

#20768067
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46580) - you deserved it (4173)

On 07/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by yum - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at my cousin's house after staying the night. I went into the bathroom like I usually do and shut the door. Apparently the door lock on this bathroom doesn't function properly. I discovered this when my 4-year-old cousin walked in on me putting a tampon in. FML

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81725) - you deserved it (4068)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML

Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML

#20761229
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47830) - you deserved it (4008)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:11am - kids - by Nish (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

#20764588
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67315) - you deserved it (3944)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62708) - you deserved it (3914)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

#20776380
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62247) - you deserved it (3877)

On 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by yayme. - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I had to get an MRI. I double and triple checked to make sure there was no out-of-pocket cost. When I arrived at the testing center, I was expected to pay full price for the test. It costs $2,360. FML

#20770351
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47738) - you deserved it (3791)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:48am - health - by insurance lies - United States

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57873) - you deserved it (3760)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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