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Thursday 4 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

#20757330
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41414) - you deserved it (5199)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49am - work - by Neveragain (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

#20766880
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47958) - you deserved it (5148)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by StockedWithJuice (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend gives out my number to guys who ask for hers. Let's just say that I'll never be able to unsee the pictures that were sent to me. FML

#20768089
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57585) - you deserved it (5123)

On 07/07/2013 at 1:21am - intimacy - by nomorenakedpicsplease - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

#20761277
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47366) - you deserved it (5120)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:09am - work - by melons (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

#20766565
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49177) - you deserved it (5074)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

#20765643
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46700) - you deserved it (5057)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm - misc - by -_- (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML

#20766944
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53398) - you deserved it (4994)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62453) - you deserved it (4972)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, not only do I work as a garbage man, but I had to pick up a used, bloody tampon that someone decided to throw on the ground rather than in a garbage can. FML

#20768438
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52814) - you deserved it (4933)

On 07/07/2013 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she felt that her puppy was lonely while we dated. FML

#20771661
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52021) - you deserved it (4932)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, it's been the tenth restaurant meal in a row that my husband has to ruin with Instagram, in the belief that anyone cares. FML

#20771120
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39260) - you deserved it (4900)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:45pm - misc - by STOPTAKINGPICTURES (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

#20770695
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46605) - you deserved it (4849)

On 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by pinkXpress1023 - United Kingdom

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

#20766295
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55622) - you deserved it (4749)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:17am - love - by walker - United States



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