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Thursday 4 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to make a R.I.P. page for me on Facebook. Most liked post? "Too bad this page is fake." FML

#20771326
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43786) - you deserved it (4910)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:02pm - misc - by the hated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

#20766880
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45500) - you deserved it (4902)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by StockedWithJuice (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

#20765717
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51181) - you deserved it (4872)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by The fuck, junior? (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

#20766565
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47032) - you deserved it (4863)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

#20765643
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44589) - you deserved it (4853)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm - misc - by -_- (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML

#20766944
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50788) - you deserved it (4765)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59902) - you deserved it (4746)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend gives out my number to guys who ask for hers. Let's just say that I'll never be able to unsee the pictures that were sent to me. FML

#20768089
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53726) - you deserved it (4742)

On 07/07/2013 at 1:21am - intimacy - by nomorenakedpicsplease - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's been the tenth restaurant meal in a row that my husband has to ruin with Instagram, in the belief that anyone cares. FML

#20771120
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37282) - you deserved it (4698)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:45pm - misc - by STOPTAKINGPICTURES (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, not only do I work as a garbage man, but I had to pick up a used, bloody tampon that someone decided to throw on the ground rather than in a garbage can. FML

#20768438
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49461) - you deserved it (4666)

On 07/07/2013 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she felt that her puppy was lonely while we dated. FML

#20771661
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48612) - you deserved it (4596)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

#20770695
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43480) - you deserved it (4570)

On 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by pinkXpress1023 - United Kingdom

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

#20763424
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38142) - you deserved it (4507)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)



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