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Wednesday 3 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

#20770545
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27250) - you deserved it (61216)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

#20759193
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23376) - you deserved it (61163)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing our family reunion. Bored out of my mind, I clicked to rename the conversation to "Boring shit with almost dead people." I didn't know it'd rename it for everyone. FML

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16900) - you deserved it (53832)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I needed a change of clothes, so I called my mom. She brought me a grey shirt with a toucan on the front and Mexico City spelled in glitter. I asked her why she would bring me such an ugly shirt, and she started crying. Turns out she bought it for me as a present from her trip. FML

#20762834
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25157) - you deserved it (49178)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by awwimanahole (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I Googled "How to act like an adult." I'm 37. FML

#20765003
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21640) - you deserved it (45764)

On 07/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by forever young (woman) - United States

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26529) - you deserved it (44470)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML

#20767127
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you deserved it (43525)

On 07/06/2013 at 2:23pm - money - by goodbye sweet internet (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML

#20773985
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27117) - you deserved it (42143)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:38am - misc - by RickTheBoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

#20772295
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25792) - you deserved it (40360)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by embarrassed niece (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was moving to my new apartment. I left some furniture outside as I drove to dump the first load at my new place. When I got back, everything was gone. Apparently, today is the day the donation truck was coming around to take everything we don't need. FML

#20768180
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44709) - you deserved it (22150)

On 07/07/2013 at 2:35am - misc - by lostmystuff (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50034) - you deserved it (20069)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

#20759304
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39708) - you deserved it (19300)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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