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Thursday 20 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML

#20745284
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53508) - you deserved it (2936)

On 06/24/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by Creepedout - United States (Florida)

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

#20736762
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45723) - you deserved it (2877)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:35am - money - by what_the_hell (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML

#20740640
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41039) - you deserved it (2869)

On 06/22/2013 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61849) - you deserved it (2810)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

#20746764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33097) - you deserved it (2793)

On 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm - misc - by mymomplucksbutthair (woman) - United States

Today, I left hospital after a three-night stay. Whilst waiting for my taxi to arrive, my mother called me in hysterics wanting to know where I was, because the police had called her and told her I had gone missing. Turns out my doctor "forgot" to tell anyone that I was discharged. FML

Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML

#20748362
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38872) - you deserved it (2766)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

#20741960
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49079) - you deserved it (2761)

On 06/23/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by part time all the time - United States (Michigan)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38627) - you deserved it (2757)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

#20736654
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39440) - you deserved it (2742)

On 06/20/2013 at 2:32am - work - by Whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time accusing me of whoring around and claiming that most people get strep from performing oral sex. FML

#20750267
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38754) - you deserved it (2723)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:58pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45137) - you deserved it (2721)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

#20737123
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41472) - you deserved it (2715)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:54pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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