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Thursday 20 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69395) - you deserved it (3983)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60236) - you deserved it (3938)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

#20746398
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51900) - you deserved it (3913)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my duty manager demanded we close the bar early because she wanted to go home. I was subject to abuse from customers for closing early, then shouted at by the duty manager for not being done. My actual bar manager fired me for closing early. FML

#20734756
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46494) - you deserved it (3849)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML

#20732921
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37304) - you deserved it (3837)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

#20750126
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54241) - you deserved it (3788)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:17am - misc - by Guntherdog - United States

Today, a guy's car broke down in my street, so I helped him push it into my driveway, checked his car out, and gave it a jump start. He thanked me, then as he went to pull out, he instead smashed straight into my car. FML

#20737568
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48672) - you deserved it (3751)

On 06/20/2013 at 5:13pm - misc - by clop clop clopping all the way (man) - United States

Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML

#20748461
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41812) - you deserved it (3748)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML

#20746334
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41996) - you deserved it (3709)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by couch girl - Singapore

Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

#20750109
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43326) - you deserved it (3701)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:02am - work - by rubgy_lover - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51792) - you deserved it (3689)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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