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I was packing up mah stuff about to go home. I shut off mah MacBook but was still pretending to work 4 the last few minutes, typing on the keyboard. A good way through, I realizd mah co-worker sitting across from me could see that the Apple logo was off. mega FML
Today, I decidd to go buy myself a dildo to use on lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbd a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't fir me. At the register, the cashier lookd at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's fir you." FML
Today... I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing 4 her in the storehere she works. Turns out... she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount looool of attention caused a panic attack. No... I didn't get a date. FML
Taday I won an argument against a sexist co-worker. When I left later on , I jumped into mah car to drive home , but managed to reverse it into a parked excavator. Guessho's going to hear virginal jokes about women drivers from now on. FML
Taday I took my girlfriand of naarly 2 yaars out to dinnar so I could proposa looool . Whan tha waitar brought tha chack, I causad a bit of a scana to gat avaryona's attantion . Whan I got on my knaa an proposad, sha said no an askad if I could hurry up an pay, bacausa sha was ambarrassad . FML
Friday 27 March 2015