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Friday 14 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

#20736775
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55829) - you deserved it (5507)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:47am - intimacy - by naughtymommy0317 (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the airport when I saw a woman drop her bags and run to her husband. Thinking that someone might steal them, I picked up her bags and brought them over to her. She thanked me by slapping me, calling me a bitch and calling security. FML

#20735913
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40822) - you deserved it (5492)

On 06/19/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

#20723435
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60628) - you deserved it (5453)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

#20732528
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37004) - you deserved it (5436)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by ProAwkward - United States (Texas)

Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML

#20731128
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43339) - you deserved it (5424)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:46am - misc - by newyorkers - United States (New York)

Today, I told my friend, who's a marriage counsellor, about some of the things my husband does that I hate, like snoring loudly and eating with his mouth open. I wasn't asking for advice, but she just looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Divorce." Bye-bye, faith in humanity. FML

#20727839
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38177) - you deserved it (5422)

On 06/15/2013 at 5:08pm - misc - by ineedbetterfriends (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I started my job at a kids summer camp. The first little girl to arrive told me to close my eyes and open my hand because she had a "surprise" for me. Yep, a dead, decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise. FML

#20718832
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44006) - you deserved it (5405)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:39am - kids - by sydneyp3435 - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter had ice cream while I was napping. She didn't want me to know so she put the bowl in the trashcan and put the spoon in the garbage disposal and turned it on, because she thought it would make the spoon disappear. FML

#20730678
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43429) - you deserved it (5380)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by cherbear1000 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to get an HPV vaccine after being convinced to by my mom. I stayed in the waiting room afterwards, because the vaccine has the possible side-effect of causing fainting. I didn't faint; instead, I spent the next 15 minutes giggling uncontrollably like a psycho. FML

#20719679
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45111) - you deserved it (5375)

On 06/11/2013 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

#20732995
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54994) - you deserved it (5269)

On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52139) - you deserved it (5209)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

#20730804
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38025) - you deserved it (5209)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Idontbelieveinmagic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom cut off the legs of all my pants, because she says I don't show enough skin for guys. I'm now forced to wear jaggedly cut shorts that barely cover my thighs until I can buy new ones. FML

#20739324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51318) - you deserved it (5000)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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