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Friday 14 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he say down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML

#20738304
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54923) - you deserved it (8159)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78255) - you deserved it (7667)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

#20719191
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90277) - you deserved it (7513)

On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML

#20724700
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50548) - you deserved it (7480)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by :( - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML

#20725929
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47479) - you deserved it (7420)

On 06/14/2013 at 5:21pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

#20731650
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79916) - you deserved it (7311)

On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, whilst trying on wedding dresses with my mom, she told me that I looked fat and awful in the dress I liked. When I told her how hurtful she was being, she told me that I should be grateful that she told me what she thought instead of laughing at me behind my back. FML

#20722079
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46652) - you deserved it (7206)

On 06/12/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by mysea8679 (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73876) - you deserved it (7026)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML

#20738117
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40906) - you deserved it (6999)

On 06/20/2013 at 11:06pm - health - by Ouch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

#20719275
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46612) - you deserved it (6947)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45915) - you deserved it (6933)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57128) - you deserved it (6882)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

#20733333
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43780) - you deserved it (6872)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by skunked - United States (California)



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