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Wednesday 12 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML

#20726743
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47853) - you deserved it (4332)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by well then... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63752) - you deserved it (4290)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom walked into the bathroom while I was taking a pic to send to my long-distance boyfriend. She then told me I would go to hell for flaunting myself at guys. I was fully clothed, sending a pic to see if he liked my new haircut. That and I'm 21. FML

#20716841
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55757) - you deserved it (4265)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Crazy Mom (woman) - United States

Today, I arrived at my grandparents'. They already had guests so I had to sleep in the cottage. It wasn’t that bad until when I was making the bed I found a dead rotting possum in the blankets. When I told my grandmother, she simply said, "Deal with it, wimp." FML

#20718430
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43439) - you deserved it (4217)

On 06/10/2013 at 10:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58548) - you deserved it (4185)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

#20725457
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60314) - you deserved it (4170)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

#20720945
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58276) - you deserved it (4145)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by Are you f*cking kidding me (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

#20721539
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53511) - you deserved it (4138)

On 06/12/2013 at 1:33pm - health - by unknown - United States (California)

Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML

#20728616
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53682) - you deserved it (4138)

On 06/16/2013 at 12:54am - love - by fun (man) - United States

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55942) - you deserved it (4127)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML

#20717602
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46524) - you deserved it (4002)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by sadgirl - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my sister sent me countless pictures of my boyfriend making out with different girls at a bar. His excuse? Photoshop. FML

#20726929
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49691) - you deserved it (3983)

On 06/15/2013 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69279) - you deserved it (3975)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)



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