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Wednesday 12 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50874) - you deserved it (5087)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

#20730804
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36519) - you deserved it (5075)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Idontbelieveinmagic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

#20716829
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47998) - you deserved it (4893)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47178) - you deserved it (4792)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my family has a bet on how long I will be single for. FML

#20717191
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46806) - you deserved it (4772)

On 06/10/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Bridget Jones? - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML

#20726995
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48087) - you deserved it (4729)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:57am - love - by bloody - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively. His reasoning? He didn't want to date a "cheap and dangerous woman." Seriously? FML

Today, my future sister-in-law cancelled my invitation to her and my brother's wedding. Her reason was that I was incredibly rude to announce my pregnancy to my family at a time like this, because it took all the attention away from her. FML

#20727924
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50898) - you deserved it (4648)

On 06/15/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while working the register, a known mentally-unstable man approached me. He ended up telling me that the Statue of Liberty is sexist and a screw-up by Washington. When I told him that the French made it, he told me to shut up and complained to my manager. He knows me by name now. FML

#20724940
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37939) - you deserved it (4598)

On 06/14/2013 at 1:57am - work - by fubuggie (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

#20729997
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48628) - you deserved it (4486)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by scarredforlife - United States (New York)

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

#20726715
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40261) - you deserved it (4424)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by ouch - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML

#20726002
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41422) - you deserved it (4403)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML

#20726743
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47820) - you deserved it (4329)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by well then... - Canada (Ontario)



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