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Friday 7 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML

#20703298
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45329) - you deserved it (5176)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:48pm - misc - by moreliketurdmart (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

#20716829
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50094) - you deserved it (5075)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54749) - you deserved it (5015)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML

Today, I found out that my family has a bet on how long I will be single for. FML

#20717191
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48820) - you deserved it (4965)

On 06/10/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Bridget Jones? - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, while working the register, a known mentally-unstable man approached me. He ended up telling me that the Statue of Liberty is sexist and a screw-up by Washington. When I told him that the French made it, he told me to shut up and complained to my manager. He knows me by name now. FML

#20724940
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40890) - you deserved it (4863)

On 06/14/2013 at 1:57am - work - by fubuggie (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML

#20715817
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49533) - you deserved it (4765)

On 06/09/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by kalisa anteater (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is bringing his friends on our trip. I'm now the third wheel on the romantic trip we've planned for a year. FML

#20705634
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55534) - you deserved it (4741)

On 06/04/2013 at 3:11pm - love - by TheThirdWheel - United States (Michigan)

Today, I drove 2 hours to my sister's wedding, only to find out my invitation was sent to me by mistake. She had me kicked out. FML

#20712353
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60219) - you deserved it (4713)

On 06/07/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by hopeyoushityourintestinesout (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML

#20726002
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44159) - you deserved it (4713)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML

#20710332
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43323) - you deserved it (4606)

On 06/06/2013 at 7:37pm - work - by :( (man) - United States

Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML

#20718780
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50287) - you deserved it (4571)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:12am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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