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Friday 7 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not remembering our anniversary. Our three week anniversary. FML

#20702606
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58944) - you deserved it (6835)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:31am - love - by BadBoyfriend - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55796) - you deserved it (6764)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML

#20719423
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50249) - you deserved it (6526)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at work talking to an older man. As our conversation ended, he said, "Thank you, ma'am." Then, he quickly stumbled over his words as he said, "I mean, thank you, sir. I meant sir. I think." He gazed at me for a moment in confusion, then darted away. FML

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

#20726036
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64929) - you deserved it (6434)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML

#20724193
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45272) - you deserved it (6347)

On 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm - misc - by Dingbat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

#20708788
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58860) - you deserved it (6266)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

#20703566
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61921) - you deserved it (6078)

On 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm - money - by future burger flipper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to pee in my cat's litter box, just to avoid witnessing my mom having sex in the living room on my way to the bathroom. FML

#20702750
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75549) - you deserved it (6070)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I ran the mile in gym class. I was the second to last person to finish, and I was left panting and feeling faint. When the teacher found out I hadn't come in dead last, he accused me of skipping a lap and is now making me rerun the entire thing. FML

#20721311
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61086) - you deserved it (5962)

On 06/12/2013 at 10:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML

#20717345
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51614) - you deserved it (5759)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:55am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 21-year-old girlfriend finally got the courage to tell her mom that she wanted to move in with me. It turns out she was right to be afraid; during the talk, her mother yelled at us, calling her a slut and saying she was too young to be "shacking up with some guy." FML

#20714116
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42802) - you deserved it (5663)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by MonsterInLaw (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I received a prank phone call that woke me up. I actually kept them on the line because they were the first person to call me in weeks. FML

#20704962
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46750) - you deserved it (5658)

On 06/04/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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