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Friday 7 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today mah friend told me he had just robbd a bank and needd a place to hide!! Thinking he was joking I let him in so we could hang out!! 15 minutes later the cops storm into mah apartment!! Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke!! real FML

#20718656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58349) - you deserved it (16099)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

today at the gym, mah boobs were jiggling more than the grl next to me . This would be a good thing, if I wasn't a guy . mega FML

#20712866
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48031) - you deserved it (15481)

On 06/08/2013 at 12:42am - health - by random - United States (Texas)

Today, my puppy came into my room, an I cupped his head in my hands an bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

#20707414
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44144) - you deserved it (14214)

On 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by SHIT-BREATH (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

After Discovering That Our Son Is Already Sexually Active, I Asked My Husband To Have A Talk With Him. "Remember, Son, It's All About The Clit", Wasn't What I Had In Mind. FML

#20713183
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61106) - you deserved it (13843)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out tat restaurant's food is so bad tat te only reason some people visit is because tere punising tere kids . fat FML

#20715456
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45603) - you deserved it (13592)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:38pm - work - by not the cook (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Taday I let mah step-father know exactly wat I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietlyhispered, ( Well your adopted. Your parents never loved you. ) FML

#20707377
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54675) - you deserved it (13571)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, ma moter trew away ma brand new eadpones. Se saw tem on te couc wit duct tape on te wires an assumd tey were ( old, broken, an ceap. ) I put te tape tere to avoid damaging te wires. FML

#20720827
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43541) - you deserved it (13079)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:59am - money - by why mom, why? - United States (California)

I walked in on mah dad masturbating to a nude photo of mah mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68898) - you deserved it (12982)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, my friend got dumpd . I wantd to say, "You must be devastatd", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

#20717146
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44126) - you deserved it (12807)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States

TODAY, MAH WIFE DECIDED TO CHECK HER EMAIL, WHILE I WAS STILL INSIDE HER. FML

#20714723
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62131) - you deserved it (12362)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

today I tried to lift mah looool grlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then hered a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated mah kneecap trying to be romantic. She only wieghs about 90 lbs. FML

#20723365
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47525) - you deserved it (12313)

On 06/13/2013 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

TODAY, A DEAF CUSTOMER CUMMD TO MY WORK. IN AN ATTEMPT TO CONNECT WITH HIM I INTRODUCD MYSELF IN SIGN LANGUAGE. HE JUST ROLLD HIS EYES AND POINTD AT MY NAME TAG. FML

#20707121
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45959) - you deserved it (12292)

On 06/05/2013 at 5:46am - work - by WOWBear - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We'd been talking about the movehere you pick a girl up and kiss, and how romantic that would be, so we decided to try it. When he picked me up, my head slammed against his ceiling fan. FML



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