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Wednesday 5 June 2013

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Today, I woke up at 3:00 am feeling freezing cold and soaking wet. It turns out that my dad had opened my window when I was sleeping, and rain water had been pouring in on me all night. My hair, face, pillow, blankets, alarm clock, and homework were all soaked as well. FML

by Anon / 06/12/2013 at 10:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML

by butisavedyourkid / 06/06/2013 at 12:13am / United States / Kids

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I woke up right as the dentist pulled my last tooth. FML

by Applejacks18 / 06/06/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Montana) / Health

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

by fuck kids / 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I got a promotion and transfer at work. My first responsibility is to fire my soon to be father in-law. FML

by hesgonnahateme / 06/06/2013 at 1:08am / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I could no longer handle the drum music in the apartment below me so I went to kindly ask the little old lady to shut it off before she goes to bed. Her neighbor came out while I knocked to tell me she is out of town and the music is constant so her cats don't get lonely. FML

Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML

by congrats grad / 06/08/2013 at 1:12am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm / United States / Kids

Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML

by luciazee / 06/06/2013 at 4:51pm / Peru (Lima) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was looking forward to my only day to sleep-in this month while I'm balancing school and work. I was rudely awakened at 6 am by my sister and her friend trying to make pancakes, burning them, and setting off the fire alarm in my house for half an hour. FML

by Elephant1718 / 06/11/2013 at 9:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML

by stutterboy / 06/11/2013 at 4:36pm / United States (California) / Work