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Wednesday 5 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49286) - you deserved it (4543)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my family has a bet on how long I will be single for. FML

#20717191
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44070) - you deserved it (4540)

On 06/10/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Bridget Jones? - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I started my job at a kids summer camp. The first little girl to arrive told me to close my eyes and open my hand because she had a "surprise" for me. Yep, a dead, decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise. FML

#20718832
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37750) - you deserved it (4373)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:39am - kids - by sydneyp3435 - United States (Texas)

Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML

#20711432
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45668) - you deserved it (4255)

On 06/07/2013 at 9:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45340) - you deserved it (4252)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is bringing his friends on our trip. I'm now the third wheel on the romantic trip we've planned for a year. FML

#20705634
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49862) - you deserved it (4246)

On 06/04/2013 at 3:11pm - love - by TheThirdWheel - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML

#20715817
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43904) - you deserved it (4242)

On 06/09/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by kalisa anteater (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML

#20710332
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38788) - you deserved it (4205)

On 06/06/2013 at 7:37pm - work - by :( (man) - United States

Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML

#20718780
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45599) - you deserved it (4124)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:12am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML

#20705510
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44926) - you deserved it (4077)

On 06/04/2013 at 1:53pm - love - by BloodyMarry (woman) - United States

Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

#20721539
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50558) - you deserved it (3930)

On 06/12/2013 at 1:33pm - health - by unknown - United States (California)



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