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Wednesday 5 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61243) - you deserved it (13867)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

#20720827
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45673) - you deserved it (13632)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:59am - money - by why mom, why? - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML

#20715456
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45693) - you deserved it (13616)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:38pm - work - by not the cook (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

#20707377
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54766) - you deserved it (13591)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69054) - you deserved it (13008)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

#20717146
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44208) - you deserved it (12821)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

#20714723
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62300) - you deserved it (12386)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

#20707121
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46070) - you deserved it (12320)

On 06/05/2013 at 5:46am - work - by WOWBear - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We'd been talking about the move where you pick a girl up and kiss, and how romantic that would be, so we decided to try it. When he picked me up, my head slammed against his ceiling fan. FML

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

#20708141
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83743) - you deserved it (11749)

On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months moved in to my apartment. I had never been to his place because his roommate was a drug addict, so it came as quite a surprise when he brought three taxidermied cats with him, insisting that I let him mount them in the living room. FML

#20711674
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38194) - you deserved it (11466)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

#20722030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50387) - you deserved it (11393)

On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)

Today, my cats were making a ton of noise rolling around and fighting over their toys, and I yelled for them to knock it off. When they looked up at me, their "toy" ran away. Not a toy, but a real mouse. It's been 2 hours, and I still can't find it. FML

#20705382
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40109) - you deserved it (10802)

On 06/04/2013 at 12:28pm - animals - by drkate25 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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