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Saturday 25 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

#20682049
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44393) - you deserved it (4013)

On 05/23/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by eric4 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML

#20693039
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48558) - you deserved it (4011)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:39pm - misc - by no boobies - United States

Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML

#20677176
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41920) - you deserved it (3997)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friends and I went out for drinks. I'm the only one who's actually 21 or over, and they have fake IDs. Not only was I the only one to be carded, the bartender thought that my actual ID was fake. I got kicked out while my friends kept drinking. FML

#20697496
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51056) - you deserved it (3976)

On 05/31/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by whyme - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

#20688489
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57592) - you deserved it (3961)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

#20687417
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37148) - you deserved it (3906)

On 05/26/2013 at 1:55pm - health - by ewwww (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML

#20694663
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42915) - you deserved it (3787)

On 05/30/2013 at 1:37am - love - by I'm a joke? -

Today, the vet sent me an email wishing my kitten a happy 2nd birthday. My cat died last year. FML

#20686886
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45375) - you deserved it (3775)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:33am - animals - by Tiber46 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML

#20696622
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51510) - you deserved it (3758)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

#20687932
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54223) - you deserved it (3729)

On 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by MsAnonymous17 (woman) - United States

Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML

#20687302
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40419) - you deserved it (3672)

On 05/26/2013 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML

#20693212
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52367) - you deserved it (3620)

On 05/29/2013 at 2:29pm - misc - by WTFruits - Canada (Ontario)

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML

#20679212
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40130) - you deserved it (3616)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



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