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Saturday 25 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me, saying it was only because I was wearing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML

#20686053
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48755) - you deserved it (4303)

On 05/25/2013 at 7:12pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML

#20684997
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71044) - you deserved it (4298)

On 05/25/2013 at 2:55am - love - by lizzie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML

#20675696
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33370) - you deserved it (4293)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm - health - by pixkalexi - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML

#20686007
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46779) - you deserved it (4278)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

Today, I was at my nursing internship. After helping a patient get into bed, I began to walk out of the room when I heard him say to another nurse, "Now that was a king sized lady". To make things even better, she didn't understand him the first time and I got to hear him say it again. FML

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

#20698818
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74008) - you deserved it (4122)

On 06/01/2013 at 3:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

#20675286
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46897) - you deserved it (4110)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by well okay then - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a group of guys came into my restaurant, dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of their fake elf names wrong, because the guy complained to my manager, who then bitched me out in front of everyone for upsetting the customers. FML

#20685944
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40572) - you deserved it (4067)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:13pm - work - by leela (woman) - United States

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52037) - you deserved it (4045)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML

#20681249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43393) - you deserved it (4013)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to set parental controls on my iPad so my dad couldn't watch dirty videos on Youtube. FML

#20696604
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49825) - you deserved it (3975)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

#20684142
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59644) - you deserved it (3964)

On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)



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