Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 25 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while feeding mah neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. real FML

#20697165
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30487) - you deserved it (33517)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was sanding intimata picturas to mah girlfriand and accidantally sant ona to mah bast friand. Ha sant ma ona back. FML

#20690661
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56115) - you deserved it (32980)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with mah car. In panic, I jumpd out of mah car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumpd up and shoutd, ( I bet u thought I was dead, asshole! ) He then punchd me in the face and cycld off. FML

#20688904
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50887) - you deserved it (23608)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I found out that the grl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below cuz my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML

#20698485
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47545) - you deserved it (22431)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by WTF (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today... I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declind... and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid fir mah purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxd out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68229) - you deserved it (19326)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, mah friend an I were talking about the creepy stranger that usd to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changd a lot through the years cuz I found out that he's mah current boyfriend of 4 months. big fat FML

#20683515
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57610) - you deserved it (18295)

On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walkd in on ma usband making out wit is accountant, te same woman wo comfortd me wen e ceatd on me te year before. FML

#20675748
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52820) - you deserved it (17484)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I locked keys in car . Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car . FML

#20684843
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35818) - you deserved it (16989)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today... I borrowd mah looool boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity... I clickd through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicatd to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

#20687700
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43290) - you deserved it (16988)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by bestiality? do I look like a pig? (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing mah hands!! I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch!! I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on mah left hand because I was too frightened to explain!! FML

#20695638
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40818) - you deserved it (16583)

On 05/30/2013 at 5:18pm - health - by :( (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

today while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waitd 4 a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took mah chance. Problem was, the loud part endd abruptly. I didn't. FML

Today, I was walking down the stars with mah guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to mah wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close mah eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stars. My wife almost pissd her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63523) - you deserved it (14455)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with grlfriend. FML

#20692661
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64941) - you deserved it (14360)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: