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Sunday 19 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40727) - you deserved it (4153)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

#20665284
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63665) - you deserved it (4147)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, the communications expert I'm forced to work with added the line "as they can catch bigger fishes" to a film script. She does not believe me when I tell her that the plural of fish is "fish." This idiot not only has the final word, she makes twice what I do. FML

#20682053
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37008) - you deserved it (4140)

On 05/23/2013 at 4:15pm - work - by onefishtwofishes (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML

#20664518
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52281) - you deserved it (4134)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML

Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML

#20683298
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43286) - you deserved it (4111)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:42am - misc - by JDziewaltowski (man) - United States

Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML

#20681501
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60110) - you deserved it (4043)

On 05/23/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

#20682049
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44393) - you deserved it (4013)

On 05/23/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by eric4 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML

#20677176
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41919) - you deserved it (3997)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

#20662624
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56235) - you deserved it (3989)

On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20660668
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39852) - you deserved it (3962)

On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received a notice that if I don't move the abandoned vehicle from outside my house it will be repossessed at my expense. My car isn't abandoned. FML

#20662395
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40485) - you deserved it (3961)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:29am - misc - by CrappyCar (woman) - United States

Today, I got my nails, hair, and makeup professionally done for prom. My dad got his camera out, and I presumed he was taking pictures of my date and me. When I looked at the pictures later, they were all of the dog. FML

#20673563
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40039) - you deserved it (3928)

On 05/19/2013 at 6:33pm - animals - by rach (woman) - United States (Washington)



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