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Sunday 19 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

#20665284
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63588) - you deserved it (4146)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML

#20664518
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52215) - you deserved it (4128)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML

Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML

#20683298
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43239) - you deserved it (4103)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:42am - misc - by JDziewaltowski (man) - United States

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42049) - you deserved it (4075)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML

#20681501
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60046) - you deserved it (4041)

On 05/23/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

#20682049
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44337) - you deserved it (4004)

On 05/23/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by eric4 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML

#20677176
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41868) - you deserved it (3995)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

#20662624
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56168) - you deserved it (3987)

On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a notice that if I don't move the abandoned vehicle from outside my house it will be repossessed at my expense. My car isn't abandoned. FML

#20662395
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40415) - you deserved it (3957)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:29am - misc - by CrappyCar (woman) - United States

Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20660668
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39802) - you deserved it (3955)

On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got my nails, hair, and makeup professionally done for prom. My dad got his camera out, and I presumed he was taking pictures of my date and me. When I looked at the pictures later, they were all of the dog. FML

#20673563
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39995) - you deserved it (3922)

On 05/19/2013 at 6:33pm - animals - by rach (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

#20687417
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37093) - you deserved it (3902)

On 05/26/2013 at 1:55pm - health - by ewwww (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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