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Sunday 19 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML

#20686007
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49967) - you deserved it (4561)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a group of guys came into my restaurant, dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of their fake elf names wrong, because the guy complained to my manager, who then bitched me out in front of everyone for upsetting the customers. FML

#20685944
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45420) - you deserved it (4552)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:13pm - work - by leela (woman) - United States

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49438) - you deserved it (4519)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57837) - you deserved it (4498)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML

#20681249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48073) - you deserved it (4476)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML

#20675696
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35498) - you deserved it (4455)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm - health - by pixkalexi - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

#20675286
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50331) - you deserved it (4413)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by well okay then - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

#20671163
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51519) - you deserved it (4359)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my parents told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or having a teen pregnancy. FML

#20686197
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49525) - you deserved it (4292)

On 05/25/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by uglynerd (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44124) - you deserved it (4262)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

#20684256
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38920) - you deserved it (4240)

On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

#20683274
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34852) - you deserved it (4214)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:04am - animals - by seriously - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

#20688020
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61447) - you deserved it (4167)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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