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Sunday 19 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML

#20683515
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60329) - you deserved it (19081)

On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my husband making out with his accountant, the same woman who comforted me when he cheated on me the year before. FML

#20675748
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55044) - you deserved it (18917)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML

#20684843
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38156) - you deserved it (17802)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

#20687700
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45587) - you deserved it (17796)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by bestiality? do I look like a pig? (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

#20667310
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38446) - you deserved it (16824)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML

#20669324
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45121) - you deserved it (15279)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:49pm - health - by sprainedankle - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53438) - you deserved it (14325)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML

#20679773
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38997) - you deserved it (13571)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by hobbit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

#20662599
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40928) - you deserved it (13011)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

#20669248
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45326) - you deserved it (12917)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

#20670019
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43897) - you deserved it (12751)

On 05/17/2013 at 10:59pm - love - by moo... -

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML

#20677651
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54844) - you deserved it (12551)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by backseatbusted (woman) - United States



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