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Saturday 18 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

#20671163
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52675) - you deserved it (4461)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

#20675286
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50744) - you deserved it (4451)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by well okay then - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

#20665284
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66617) - you deserved it (4361)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

#20683274
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36301) - you deserved it (4351)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:04am - animals - by seriously - United States

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

#20684256
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40042) - you deserved it (4347)

On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States

Today, my parents told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or having a teen pregnancy. FML

#20686197
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49559) - you deserved it (4295)

On 05/25/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by uglynerd (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44429) - you deserved it (4292)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML

#20664518
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53150) - you deserved it (4204)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

#20662624
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58625) - you deserved it (4202)

On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41243) - you deserved it (4199)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML

Today, the communications expert I'm forced to work with added the line "as they can catch bigger fishes" to a film script. She does not believe me when I tell her that the plural of fish is "fish." This idiot not only has the final word, she makes twice what I do. FML

#20682053
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37380) - you deserved it (4178)

On 05/23/2013 at 4:15pm - work - by onefishtwofishes (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

#20682049
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45785) - you deserved it (4143)

On 05/23/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by eric4 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)



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