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Saturday 18 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got my third promotion at work in as many years. My husband congratulated me very briefly, before asking if this meant he no longer had to look for a job. FML

#20671146
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39791) - you deserved it (4784)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Guanajuato)

Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML

#20679725
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56654) - you deserved it (4761)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

#20663152
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42180) - you deserved it (4700)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML

#20675696
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37442) - you deserved it (4649)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm - health - by pixkalexi - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my piano teacher complimented my song, calling it great. I was proud and thanked him, then realized he was being sarcastic. FML

#20683283
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36993) - you deserved it (4635)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me, saying it was only because I was wearing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML

#20686053
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52358) - you deserved it (4624)

On 05/25/2013 at 7:12pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML

#20686007
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50596) - you deserved it (4609)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

Today, a group of guys came into my restaurant, dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of their fake elf names wrong, because the guy complained to my manager, who then bitched me out in front of everyone for upsetting the customers. FML

#20685944
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45440) - you deserved it (4554)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:13pm - work - by leela (woman) - United States

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49455) - you deserved it (4520)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57853) - you deserved it (4498)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML

#20681249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48093) - you deserved it (4476)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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