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Saturday 18 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I called my fiancé just to tell him how much I love him, as a sweet gesture. He yelled at me for interrupting his video game and blamed my "neediness" on the fact that I'm menstruating. FML

#20684824
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44552) - you deserved it (7947)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:40am - love - by BellinaNico (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I'm planning my big sister's wedding. My long-term, live-in boyfriend walked by and saw me looking at the wedding tab on Pinterest, smirked, and said, "Don't get your hopes up." I had. FML

#20674650
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52342) - you deserved it (7809)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:47am - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52996) - you deserved it (7427)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

#20671425
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48898) - you deserved it (7238)

On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

#20660573
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40755) - you deserved it (7026)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:16am - money - by psychopumpkin - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, in preparation for a third interview for my dream job, I spent an hour selecting the perfect outfit. I hung everything on my bedroom door and went to shower. My dog decided to play tug-of-war with the clothing and redesign the shoes. The only thing to survive unscathed was the hanger. FML

#20681337
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39872) - you deserved it (7022)

On 05/23/2013 at 6:52am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

#20677893
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48266) - you deserved it (6805)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

#20663640
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40654) - you deserved it (6701)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm - misc - by Brenden - United States (Ohio)

Today, while on my way to an important interview, I was stopped and ticketed for speeding. The ticket made me 20 minutes late, but when I showed up, I was told they forgot to call and let me know that the woman I was supposed to meet with called in sick this morning. FML

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

#20684326
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42892) - you deserved it (6600)

On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

#20667250
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77202) - you deserved it (6509)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105290) - you deserved it (6456)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML

#20676137
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40337) - you deserved it (6421)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)



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