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Sunday 12 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83899) - you deserved it (5187)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

#20673625
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36745) - you deserved it (5146)

On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML

#20666555
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40783) - you deserved it (5107)

On 05/16/2013 at 1:58am - love - by married life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

#20649670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67160) - you deserved it (4956)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45835) - you deserved it (4950)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

#20668938
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38983) - you deserved it (4888)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by jessinono (woman) - United States

Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

#20670246
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38948) - you deserved it (4871)

On 05/18/2013 at 1:22am - love - by Sarsippius -

Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML

#20670402
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47100) - you deserved it (4827)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49282) - you deserved it (4782)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML

#20655918
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67248) - you deserved it (4759)

On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML

#20654832
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48265) - you deserved it (4694)

On 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Sankt Gallen)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43059) - you deserved it (4604)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)



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