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Sunday 12 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML

#20668963
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64453) - you deserved it (6465)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48935) - you deserved it (6426)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69216) - you deserved it (6387)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML

#20644845
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66825) - you deserved it (6278)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:49am - love - by walkingdead_1029 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my cell phone bill was much higher than normal. After investigating, I realized that a text conversation I had with my stalker, telling him multiple times not to contact me anymore, was to an international cell phone. I have to pay to be stalked. FML

#20666438
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48682) - you deserved it (6263)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:31am - money - by astalkerindeed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

#20654425
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61503) - you deserved it (6261)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

#20667435
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63678) - you deserved it (6249)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46899) - you deserved it (6228)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

#20647961
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48263) - you deserved it (6222)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

#20656774
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52612) - you deserved it (6105)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm - kids - by failure as a parent (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

#20670246
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46916) - you deserved it (6031)

On 05/18/2013 at 1:22am - love - by Sarsippius -

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94805) - you deserved it (5975)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)



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